But there are a number of great things about these workouts…

• My strength has increased drastically. My shoulder presses today were insane. My squats were significantly more powerful than they’ve ever been. I’m seeing my strength go up considerably, which is amazing.
• I can feel a burn after every workout. I only started noticing this after the chest workout on Monday. I’ve felt warmth and aches before, but never a lasting burn within the muscles. I’m hoping that’s a good sign.

But today I made it through what I consider to be the hardest workout of the week. The rest of the workouts aren’t easy – don’t get me wrong – but today’s the killer. And it’s over. And that’s the last time I need to do that one. Oh – and it didn’t help that Adrian once against increased me weight on me – by another 10lbs today. Holy fucking shit. That’s just plain unfair.

But now I’ve got two training sessions where I’ll be training by myself… Sat Adrian’s off in Montreal, and he may / may not be able to train me on Mon… we’ll see. I’m thinking he won’t be able to. But that’s find. I’ve got two workouts that aren’t too hysterical to get through. I’ll manage it.

And second of all – today at the gym I wanted to re-confirm the weight gain – I thought that I might’ve sweated it all out, but no! I’m just under 175lbs – so I’m going to commit to 174lbs. That’s incredible. And that denotes the second major milestone – I’ve put on 10lbs since I started. That’s 10lbs since March – 5 months! God – 2lbs a month!!! ARGH!!! That puts it in context eh. Wow. But then again, I’ve gained 5lbs of that 10lbs in the last 3 weeks… so again, depends which way you want to look at it!

I’m definitely noticing changes… but would like to figure out what caused the large spike?! Was it an increase in carbs (both good and bad – had many more baked potatoes for dinner last week, as well as pizza, lemon pie and cupcakes), was it a change in weather (the cooler weather lets me work out harder – I’m not sweating everything out?), was it the change in intensity in the workouts? Was it all those things? I don’t doubt it was a mixture of it all. Tough to tell. Probably never know.

All I know is that I’m done a huge 180 from the middle of last week, where I was starting to question my ability to proceed with this training. I can’t believe how things can change – well, actually I can. I know that you’re going to have some off days. That’s just normal. I got over it, proceeded – nervously – to commit to the training, and had a huge progression. Although – to be honest, can’t expect it to continue. But c’est la vie.

This is a lot of fun – time to celebrate the 10lb gain – only another 15lbs until I’m at my 190lb goal. Well – 190lbs with 10% bf… probably need to reach 200lbs and lose 10 before I reach that… so yeah – 25lbs off :s ARGH!!!!

I was pretty surprised with how well I managed today. Bench press was good at 2x 45lb plates – as much as I normally do with Adrian, but managing it by myself – with the ominous reality of me not being able to push the weights back up and it crushing me. I did good. Bicep curls were good at 70lbs. Maybe could’ve pushed a bit harder.

But it’s when I got into my dropsets that I was quite surprised – the strength was impressive. There could be a number of reasons for that – probably the most pertinent, the fact that I had to change inclines, etc… myself, which gave me a bit more rest between each set. Those extra few seconds could really help with fatigue… and they were reflected in the results. I didn’t have my plan to go by, so I was winging it with the weights, but I certainly felt like I was doing better. Last week I was struggling to push even 1 rep on the incline bench press, but now I was getting 3/4 on the 3rd dropset. The same with the bicep curls. They KILLED me. Me biceps were so hard afterwards. They were seriously like rocks. I couldn’t believe it. In fact, it was quite funny – I was walking around the gym flexing my arms and pressing my biceps. Totally vain. But I was in my own little world.

I was totally focussed on the workout. It was excruciating at times… especially in the bicep curls. The rest was OK… strenuous, but nothing like the back workout – which is coming up on Thursday. Argh.

Then I had a surprise. I went on the scale. I didn’t do it on Saturday since I trained later than I normally do, and I didn’t want a weird reading. Turns out I could’ve gone for it… The scale showed a weight of 174/175lbs. That’s an increase of 4-5lbs. I can’t quite understand it. I don’t think I’ve been eating enough for that to happen. And I’ve been eating reasonably well. Sure – at the weekend I had some pie, pizza, gelato and a cup cake (God – it sounds bad when you put it in that context)… but I wasn’t terrible.

It’s a huge spike – and could help explain the increase in strength (which, if I’m right – was considerable today). There are a couple things to bear in mind though – I weighed myself after the weekend – I normally weigh in on Sat. Weekend nutrition is always different to week nutrition. Last week I gained nothing. I remained steady. The scale might be fucked. And – this is the disgusting part – I had a bowl movement after the weight in that might’ve caused me to lose some of that gain (ewwww – disgusting I know – but could factor into the gain).

But – this is a HUGE gain. I’m going to have to wait till Sat to figure out whether it’ll be sustained, continue to increase, or what. In any case, the body is adapting to this workout one way or another.

It’s funny though – on Saturday I went to a friends wearing my slimmest workout tee, feeling great about my body. As soon as I realized I put on this amount of weight, I immediately felt fat. Because there’s no way I could gain all of that in muscle. I’m poking my love handles – because obviously I just grew obese in one night I know it doesn’t work that way – but it’s interesting to see how the mind reads into things.

Anyway – here’s the tabulated results…

Turns out the workout was excellent. I’ll admit that I was very nervous today. After the ‘off’ workout that was Thursday, I was very happy with this one. I think I kicked today’s workouts ass. I don’t know how, but we managed to fit the whole workout – 4 sets of each drop set – in the hour. That meant low rest. And a shit load of exercise. I’m reasonably exhausted right now. I’m not dying, and I only slightly felt like fainting. But I did it.

I also took a little bit more of the SuperPump to give myself a bit more of that boost. I think that helped. But it could’ve just been a placebo. Not sure.

I still feel like I’m a bit ‘off’. Right now I just want to disappear and have nothing to do with the world. I know that’s not good for me, so it’s not going to happen, but it’s how I feel right now. Hoping to kick myself out of at soon enough. We’ll see.

Monday marks the first day of week 3 of training – the hardest week in this phase. 5 drop sets in an hour. I’m most worried for the legs workout. The deadlifts are going to KILL me. But that’s the point eh? I definitely need to celebrate when that’s over – which’ll almost coincide with my birthday.

Yes – I am going to be 27 a week from now. Not a bad age I think. But more than 2/3s of the way through my 20s. I’m kinda sad at that – but that’s for the journal, not for here!

Final note – starting BCAA supplementation during the workout starting on Monday. Argh. This is going to be awesome, but tough. I think I can handle this. At least I’m learning a lot about myself. This is SO outside of my comfort zone. Not giving up yet.

I think I slept well. I woke up refreshed but groggy. Got into the gym for my back and triceps workout. Back – lat pulldowns and one arm rows – were great, but as soon as we started working on the chest / tris, again I struggled abysmally. It was tough last week – but it seems like I did even worse this week.

Then – we managed to get through the first two sets of dropsets, and then I moved onto the barbell rows, and REALLY struggled with them. As in SERIOUSLY struggled. I wasn’t keeping form, repetitions were down. And I didn’t push myself to the max. I’m disappointed in myself.

I’m having that kind of day. And I’m not sure why that’d happen today. Yesterday I ate like I’ve been fasting for weeks… and had my first day back on food. So I should’ve had a lot of energy. Although – in saying that – I did have a few chocolates during the day (that played with my hormone balance), and then two or three forkfulls of waffle and ice cream in the evening – not much, but a little bit. I can’t see them really affecting the performance, but if it impacts the body’s hormones – who knows eh???

I’m just really disappointed. Because I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I’d be worse?! So I’m a bit down today.

PS – when I write these journal entries immediately after the gym, it’s before the experience has had a chance to settle, and for me to react to it all in a more holistic manner. That’ll come soon. I just wanted to get my gut reaction down.

I think from today – it’s the fact that I didn’t push myself in the barbell bent over rows – is the thing that’s pissing me off the most. It’s about intensity. It’s about putting all your effort into a compressed period of time. Dammit.

On a sidenote – I’ve learnt that I’m now going to be a bigger drunk than I’ve ever been… I didn’t realize, but the fitter you get, the more drunk you become, and the more hungover you get. Since the body has a faster metabolism and the liver becomes more efficient, alcohol is broken down faster and disseminated throughout your body quicker – meaning you get a greater reaction to the same volume, and somehow that gives you a worse hangover. I can certainly attest to that. Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed a worsening ability to manage and recover from drinking. There are so many changes going on. Wow.

Going back to the workout today – being very tangential today – it’s days like today when you start to wonder whether you’re cut out for something like this. Whether it is all about genetics – that you can’t fight what you’ve been given. But I don’t really believe that. I believe that genetics are certainly a factor, and that you need to fight, but it’s not the be all and end all. And anyone who knows me knows that I don’t give up – I fight – if it’s something I want, I figure it out. But I like to know the why. And I don’t know that right now.

In reality – moving above the trees – this is one of those moments that test you. You didn’t do so great today. C’est la vie. It’s gonna happen. It’s your body telling you something – maybe not enough food, not enough rest, not enough or something… It can’t ever tell you what’s not right – that’s your experimentation. That’s your journey and your learning.

I said last week that this is breaking me down. Perhaps this is the way my body’s going to adapt – to complain – to piss me off. Maybe? It just means I’ve gotta revisit how I approach this process… because it’s going to get harder and harder.

More rest, more food, less ‘doing stuff’, more focussed on this – for now. Until I get to where I wanna be. But I know the next few weeks are going to be INSANE.

I thought I’d give the ab machines a try today – I’ve always done bodyweight ab exercises before, but thought I’d give them a go. They were definitely interesting – not as good as following good form in freeform though. It was fun to try though – something new.

I’m grateful for Adrian letting me know yesterday that if I do deadlifts correctly, that I should feel it in my traps the next day. Boy do I. I woke up this morning and I can feel a little stiffness in the legs, but primarily in the traps and somewhat in the shoulders. I think the shoulders are getting hammered so much, that there’s a general soreness that I now forget about. But the traps are definitely screaming today. Will be interesting to see the soreness move down to the lower back when I work back and tris on Thursday. Oh – I’m hoping that I can do more close grip bench presses – last week was atrocious. But I won’t hold out too much hope.

Reflecting on yesterday – the deadlifts were tough. Adrian commented a number of times that grip is the first to go – but I didn’t find the grip going as much as it slipping out due to my hands being sweaty. So – I’m thinking the simplest solution will be to have a towel with me to wipe down the bar and my hands between sets. Hopefully that’ll help me get a better grip.

Oh – and on one other tangent… the long weekend in August (my birthday weekend), Adrian’s going to a stag do in Montreal – I’d be surprised if he’d make it in for Mon morning (and if he did, he may be in a sufficiently foul mood that I won’t wanna train with him ). But – it actually lands at a great time… I redo back next Thurs, Sat is back and tris, Mon will be shoulders (completing the last dropset routine, before we switch to something else). I can do those two by myself – it’s the back + shoulders and chest + bis workouts that I need the most help on. So I think that lands beautifully, means I can save up some more sessions for later on, and still work hard. I like it when things work out. Won’t always, but I’ll take it when I can get it

FUCK. It KILLED ME. I’m back to almost feeling sick at the end of the workout. TODAY BROKE ME DOWN. FUCK.

Fortunately, Adrian said that this is the hardest of the dropsets. We did 4x dropsets today. Added 20lbs to the deadlifts and squat, and another 3lbs on the shoulder press. Wow. Fortunately, Adrian gave me a bit more breathing room between sets, so we only completed the primary – full body – drop sets during the hour, and then I went onto the laterals after our hour was done. I was so grateful for that. I don’t think I could’ve managed anything faster than that. I was sweating, grunting, and just plain dying.

The deadlifts were by far the hardest… I struggled to keep my grip. I could barely lift the weights up.

This – once again – gives me a HUGE APPRECIATION for people who are fit. It is NOT an easy process. Training out by yourself is one thing – you can push to a certain extent – when training with another, you push beyond what you think is possible. I’m sure I can push harder – but I’m pushing at 90% right now. I’m scared. I’m like – WTF. This is HUGE. But I’m grateful… damn… it’ll also make me commit to fitness – I don’t want to have to go through this again. Once I get to a reasonable level of fitness, I have to remember what I’m going through right now, so that I never have to go through it again.

That’s not to say there isn’t a part of me which enjoys it… but it’s damn tough. To be honest, if I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t be doing it.

But – being a sadist – I’m happy that Adrian is kicking my ass again. There were one or two workouts where I wasn’t destroyed, and it kinda felt a bit like a letdown. But – trust me… next Thurs, when I’m going to have to do this workout again – but with FIVE sets – yes, that’s FIVE SETS – I’m going to be DEAD. I’m gonna die. And go to hell. Then have an amazingly ripped body (I wish).

The rest of the workout was tough though. 4 sets of drop sets. I was struggling. But I think we pushed up weights from last week. Also – last week we were taking more time between sets. This time, we were tight. And it hurt.

Also – I’m learning that I need to be better with nutrition on Sat. I felt like my energy was running out in the middle of the workout. I need to swap around my nutrition – wake up is a Myoplex MRP, then just before the workout, have the smoothie. I think that’ll work.

Now on to results. I could barely detect an increase in bodyweight. I’m like – WTF?! How can I be eating as much as I am and not putting on weight?! Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining, I’m just even more intrigued by how the body works. I’ve had two people this week notice changes with my physique – primarily shoulders and back. Apparently the biggest changes are going to happen in week 4 of this routine. If that’s when the biggest changes are going to happen – wow. Like changes are rapid even now!

But – getting back to current results, I’m comfortably at 170lbs. This is good.

And I don’t think it’s that I’m not getting enough sleep – I think it’s quality of sleep. The humidity is SO high right now, that I’m struggling. Sure, I have my AC on over night, but every day I wake up my throat is really dry. I think it’s removing a lot of the water from the air. Or something’s going on. I need to improve things. This isn’t good.

As a result… I want to put rest and sleep as the top priority for the coming weekend and week. I’ve got a few nights out planned for next week… depending on how the weekend goes, I may cancel a few of them – or keep them extremely quick and casual. We’ll see.

Going onto the workout – did good today. Legs – squats, press and extensions (was meant to lunge, but couldn’t bring myself to do it), then 3 sets of abs. All good. Feeling it. Aches weren’t too bad from yesterday – just below and behind the neck is aching from all the shrugs I did yesterday, but that’s OK. I can live with that!

Oh – and one last thing – I think I might’ve lost some fat from around the waist. I’ve worn the same pants and belt for the entire week (yay Abercrombie), and I’ve had to do the belt up one notch in the last few days, as the pants have just been falling off. Interesting. I’m intrigued to get my weigh in results tomorrow to see where I’m at :s

This time around I managed the 4×6 shoulder presses, and standing shoulder presses up to almost max reps. I was finding it extremely difficult at the end – no doubt – but it wasn’t as intense as last time. I kinda miss that. But – the body has definitely got stronger. Surprisingly so. Especially given the fact that we did an hour of shoulders – all shoulders.

I did have some technique issues in the standing shoulder press – specifically the push and jerk. I wasn’t utilizing the power from my hips. Adrian helped me figure that out when we were done, but it’s OK. I’ll focus on it when we get back into it on Monday.

On another note – it’s funny. Adrian’s really starting to push. I thought tomorrow would be a day off. No such luck. In to do legs (squats, leg press and lunges – ewwww, lunges) and abs. The goal there is to boost the testosterone levels before chest and bis on Saturday. This is gonna be intense.

The other thing to mention – not only did I manage to get through the entire workout today, but we did it quickly. We took a little bit longer at points between sets, but in general, we ran through it faster than previously. That’s kinda cool.

I love this… how quickly the body adapts and grows.

And I’m quite intrigued to know what my weight’ll be come Sat. I’m almost thinking it’ll be the same or lower. I feel like I’m hammering it, and that growth is happening, but the breakdown is so intense, I may not be able to cover it with my nutrition. We’ll see!