So – the supplements that I’m very happy taking right now:

• Protein – whey and caesin
• BCAA
• Creatine
• Carb – waxy maize
• NO Supplement (motivation and dedication at the gym)
• Multivitamin
• Omega 3
• Greens+
• Meal Replacement Drink

The only one of these that I’m not taking right now is the NO supplement, and that’s primarily because I’m already drinking too much! When I move to Extreme Fitness, I’ll fit that in in the morning walk up to the gym.

One sidenote… I don’t want to exclude a fat burner from the mix, given that a half to one week stint on the burner can do wonders for my system. So I’m going to include it in SMALL DOSES:

• Fat Burner – Animal Cuts

And that’s it. Really. I don’t want to boost testosterone, I don’t want more Size On kind of solutions that taste uber sweet and are made of pure sugar… I don’t want to keep trying. I’m happy to keep things somewhat basic and go from there Because balance is vital here. That’s what I’ve got to remember… but this doesn’t mean there’s any negative to what I’ve been experiencing thus far

Also – the loft will necessitate a number of changes – commuting to work, no lunches at home, etc… and I was thinking of something that may work out really well.

I liked the gym around the corner from work… it looked good, but I didn’t like the ‘gayness’ of it all. Working out at off peak times would help placate that… so I’ve been thinking more and more about how it’d work if I went to workout at lunch. The first point to consider is feasibility – could I actually take the time to do it? It would mean a 90-120min lunch… but could I offset that with coming in to work 60 mins earlier? And avoiding the rush hour traffic on the subway?

So here’s what I’ve been thinking:

• Cook breakfast at the loft
• Go into work – walk up to Pape / Castle Frank stations and subway into work
• Get into work for around 8am
• Have a mid-morning snack
• Go to the gym around 11.30/12 and come out around 1/1.30
• Lunch (high carb pasta)
• Afternoon snack
• Walk home
• Dinner
• Prepare for the next day…

One thing I know I’ll miss when I move away from the apartment, is lunching. Taking time out at home to have a lunch… and that’s why I think this plan could work out really well! It helps me get better nutrition that’d fit in with my goals of weight gain… I have a break mid-day… I start earlier, so means I can get more work done in the morning… and everything seems to come together.

I’ll just see whether this will really impact work… because I don’t want it to.

Of course, there are a number of requirements here… the most important of which, is that I retain my job at Rogers! If I don’t, then this plan will take many more months to put into action… we’ll see.

Something I found fascinating – and pretty disgusting too – is the fact that fat stores toxins. When you eat, if that food has toxins in it and it’s converted to fat, those toxins will be released into your body. When you burn fat, those toxins are released into your bloodstream again.

This has some really important implications:

First off, it’s important to detox when you’re losing fat… because all these toxins are being released into your bloodstream. Since some people hold fat for many, many years, those toxins could’ve been stored away 10, 20, 30 years ago, if they’re fatty deposits you haven’t ever utilized.

They discovered something interesting when they did some research back in the 90s… some middle-aged people, after doing fat loss, had toxins in their bloodstream from 20 years before, that hadn’t been seen for such a long time! That’s incredible!

Given my goal of getting down to the lowest level of fat I’ve ever been at, some of this fat may be aged at more than 15 years! And I certainly wasn’t eating very well 15 years ago (ok, I was just a kid, but still)… So there are all these toxins being released into my body right now – and that could also go some way to explaining why I’m getting some breakouts on my skin right now. I’m eating healthy, with tonnes of multi-vitamins and minerals… which should support an excellent internal environment, and stop spots. But – given that I have all these toxins potentially coming out of the fact, that’s explaining things! There’s stuff in there that would – most certainly activate my spots – because they were causing them way back when!

On a separate note – and this is also interesting – just as we have muscle memory, it seems like we might have fat loss memory too (even though there’s no evidence to support it). If we train our bodies to lose weight, then each time we do it continuously, it becomes easier and easier. That’s the theory. Given that I’m about as skinny as I’ve probably ever been (well – that’s kind of a lie – I was skinnier in my last semester of University), it’s now starting to get tougher to get rid of this remaining weight. We’ll see.

There are two things wrong with that:

1. It’s boring. Getting to Weds and thinking that you’ve got another 3 days of chicken and rice… kind of demotivates you.
2. It doesn’t keep the body guessing. The body gets used to it too quickly, and then doesn’t need to adjust anymore.

So that’s what I’m going to try and do… rotate things more often. I still live close to work, so I can rotate my lunches… even if that means making an omlette or something. The PN package has some amazing ideas that I’ve already looked through – and I’m excited… tacos, omlettes, blah blah blah… things that I haven’t thought about for quite some time. It’s gonna be good… and hopefully this’ll get me more excited too!!!!

One thing that has really stood out so far, is this concept of inside outside. They talk about how when you’re starting a plan, you’re typically going to lose a fair bit for the first few weeks, then stop, then start, then stop, then continue stopping, then start… There can be a lot of disappointment around that, unless you change your perspective.

I’ve certainly had my fair share of disappointment… because I’m working hard… and I’m looking for external gratification – ie. losing a certain amount of weight a week, etc… it’s a numbers game… but the PN guys correctly identify that the body doesn’t work on numbers. It’s not linear.

So what’s happening in the week that you’re sticking to the nutrition plan, yet losing nothing… lots, apparently. It’s about the inside. Things may be evolving – body mass changing, fat changing, muscle changing, physique, makeup, etc… There are so many things that can change that we’re not aware of because they’re inside of us, we don’t think they’re happening.

But the truth of the matter is, if you stick to a healthy nutrition plan – as opposed to something less healthy – changes are happening. Your body’s adapting, improving… It may be your health, your energy levels… something. Who knows? But you’re on the track for a healthier life, which is the biggest goal.

Right now, it’s obvious that my primary goal is fitness. It’s an achievable goal, and one that I’ll achieve hopefully within about 6 months. At least, that’s a point where I think the single-minded focus may be able to soften to become a maintain phase, and bring about sufficient room for other goals.

At that stage, I’m really thinking wellness should be my next goal. Reason being, it lays the foundation for everything else. I’m getting stronger on the mental awareness path, but I could push it a lot harder…

Pushing it a lot harder incorporates things like meditation, zazen, beginner’s mind. All things that I’d love to achieve, but they all require distinct and concerted effort, that I haven’t been able to give them yet. I think it’s right to try and get my body in shape before I dedicate the mental energy required to maintain a zazen state – if it’s even possible.

I tried doing some meditation a week or so back, and it’s a lot harder than I thought it’d be. The experience and benefits of it were intense – I definitely understand the value of something like that. But it requires concerted effort – more so than I think I’m able to give it right now, with all the focus I’m putting into the fitness.

And that’s another realization that’s been hitting me more and more recently… that everything has its place. Nothing has to rush. One day at a time. Tomorrow will always be there. If it’s not, we’re not aware it’s not there. I don’t need to rush anymore – but at the same time, I need things to look forward to. Having been rushing so much through this awesome life, time’s now on my side. I don’t mean to go slow, I mean to appreciate the moments as they happen. And the fitness and wellness is huge – it’s vitally important, no matter which way you look at it!

While this next goal doesn’t really relate to this blog, I wanted to throw it in – maybe some studying – something to throw me back into questioning, growing, evolving… being passionate about different things. I’ve noticed that I’ve stopped expanding my horizons recently, and I don’t want that to continue.

I’m thinking of doing the Indigo MBA next year – starting Jan through Dec. It’s quick, a good support group, and provide some interesting insights into business. Then – when next year’s over – since it’ll be an intense year – things’ll have a different perspective that I’ll start thinking about then

I’d certainly classify myself in that group. I’ve been with my body long enough to understand what I can wear to hide what I don’t want to showcase. And it’s worked pretty well so far!

But – this article says something that I found really interesting – and intuitively, it makes a lot of sense.

What it said was that when losing weight, we should create a deficit outside of exercise. So let me think of Lost It – my iPhone App. In calculating my calorie intake for the day, it adds the number of calories I’ve burned through exercise… so my daily budget is 1,700 cals – if I burn another 700 cals at the gym, that means Lost It is allowing me to eat 2,400 cals a day.

What this article is saying is that that logic is the standard logic. Eat more, spend more time at the gym burning it off. It says that that logic is incorrect. That the gym and resistance training is additional to the calorie count… ie. if my goal is 1,700 a day, that’s what I should stick at: 1,700 cals.

This is interesting, and seeing it presented in this way, it makes a lot of sense to me. This week’s been a little bit different – because of the increase in cardio, I’m well under my cal limit for the day. So that’s fine. But – we’ll see how much I’ve lost in 7 days tomorrow. And depending on the success of that, I may change the way I count calories from Mon onwards (given that this weekend is up the cabin with all sorts of goodies).

I have to admit – I’m just over on the fats (50g vs 42g), but well under in the protein (230g vs 300g) and carbs (100g v 200g). This could explain why I’m losing muscle eh But right now – I’m going to maintain what I’m on, because *I think* it’s working

Last night I have to put my hands up and say I had a Swiss Chalet for dinner – it wasn’t too bad, but wasn’t the best. It was half a chicken (less than that because I avoid all the fat) without skin, a baked potato and then two white rolls. Yeah, I know, white rolls – I consider them a little treat They’re so good!

I felt extremely full at the end of it, and I didn’t feel the food was as ‘good’ as I normally have. It’s funny, I could take the rearing of the chicken… whereas I now have fully organic, hormone free, etc… you do taste that in your food. And I guess I’ve become accustomed to it now. It’s good. I like it.

On a separate note, I was thinking last night about my approach to this whole transformation thing. I think it’s a fantasy that I can grow huge, like Ted or like the other bodybuilders I have on this site. Bodybuilding isn’t an obsession for me. It’s not how I choose to define myself. Health and fitness is how I choose to define myself.

If I take a good hard look at my life, I’m reasonably active… like most of my pursuits are active: hiking, trekking, biking, snowboarding, travelling, etc… In those situations, I can’t control my exercise or nutrition as much as you need when you’re a bodybuilder. And when I was on my last trek, sometimes I found the additional weight – or the focus of my training – to be a disadvantage – it was harder to trek. And given that that is such a huge part of me, why should I be doing something that contravenes that?

I’ll go back to the point I made earlier – that the buff body is a fantasy. It’s something I’ve always desired. Perhaps it’s not the body I want for myself – perhaps it’s the body I want in my partner?! Perhaps I’m getting the two mixed up.

As I’ve discussed before, you need to do what’s natural in this – not force the body, not force yourself into something that’s unsustainable, because that’s going to have far reaching impacts with regards to maintenance, etc…

Recently I noted as a reflection in my journal, that I strive for what I call the transcendental best. It’s a funky name for something that basically means I go for something that makes the most sense, that the soul / gut loves intensely and that transcends time: a classic. When I created the reflection, it was meant to apply to furniture, clothing – materialistic items – but I think applies here as well. I’ve got to do the transcendental best for me – what feels the most right?

And I can tell you – the energy, enthusiasm – well, let’s just focus on the energy – that’s huge in comparison to the last phase… I love it. And my self consciousness is disappearing too. I can walk around with reduced love handles – they’re not totally gone yet, but I have confidence in this process I’m on. They will disappear and they are disappearing.

I have to admit – and this is going to sound really vain – but I don’t think I’ve looked more healthy in my whole entire life. I feel so healthy. I feel focussed and motivated. I feel mentally attuned and acute. And that was my goal – to convey health and be fit. To not cover that up with excess muscle and fat because I was too lazy to put in the effort to cut it all out.

Yeah – I think my approach has to change… reflect my circumstances, not what the ‘horny’ brain tells me is my fantasy that it wants to become a reality.

Anyways – this weekend – was very grounded, but also quite indulgent. The diet kind of went out of the window this weekend. Boo. Shouldn’t have done that, but it taught me a very important lesson…

I was really on a high this past weekend. I felt I could take on the world – energy levels were excruciatingly high, and mental alertness was great. And I would say that most of that comes from the training and the diet I’ve been engaged in… especially the changes to my diet I’ve made in the past week – more actual food, less fat, more control, less ‘eat whatever I can’.

But – with the fact of me thinking that I could take on the world – I think I can do that with food and lack of training too… I realized that this is the idiosyncratic situation I regularly get myself into: I think that I’ve reached this pinnacle of mental status and that it’ll maintain – without all the world that got me there. Not so this time. I’m NOT going to make that mistake again. I’ve worked damn hard so far… put on a lot of muscle (I hope) – I can call it volume – but there’s a hell of a lot more work to do. Now’s not the time to become complacent. And I won’t allow it.

This trek is going to be awesome. I’m going to integrate a hell of a lot. And it’s going to teach me so much. Either that or I’ll kill one of the passengers. I hope the earlier