Wow… it’s quite insane to think of how much has happened in the last few days… here’s a broad outline…
- Results wise, I’m not at 167.5. I put on 0.5lbs last week
- Trained on Sat. Was a good session. Somehow I managed to do 6 pull ups! That’s fricking amazing. Killed me though. I was exhausted.
- Had my yellow fever shot on Sat – wasn’t expecting that – so I’m all ready for the Amazon rainforest!
- Sat night was another housewarming. Drank WAY too much – beautiful wine and champagne. Only the equivalent of a bottle, but still, was intense. I’m going to talk about that a bit more in a moment…
- Sun morning was recovery from Sat night. I really struggled. Nutrition – let’s put it this way – was non existent. A whole stick of French bread, pizza and some pasta. My skin is going to be a nightmare for the next 3-4 days. Argh.
- This morning – back in the gym. Have a bit of a cold / feel a bit down. Thinking that’s the result of the yellow fever shot. But did surprisingly well at the gym. Now moved into a strength training routine – so low reps and high weight. Did well. I have some impressive strength there
So – the piece that I wanna get back to is the housewarming… I was really looking forward to it, but I have to admit, the experience was a bit of a letdown. Not because of the company or anything – we had a LOT of fun. But the food, the drink… it wasn’t worth it. The following day – the catch up… I compare it to the previous weekend at the cabin, walking, hiking, eating well… some light wine – a glass or two, and that was amazing. This weekend wasn’t good.
This is a huge change for me… last weekend at the cabin was incredible – I was on a high for the whole of the week. My body felt great and lean, and I had so much energy. Today I feel like shit. And yesterday – well, that was a low.
But this is all good. It’s incredibly positive. You can’t choose a direction in life until you have an experience. And this was a memorable experience. And without sounding all self-indulgent, it’s showing a change of focus in my life… actually it’s more than that…
Work’s been insanely stressful. This weekend was one of the first weekends where things hit me. I started to get all emotional and I was able to see all the self-indulgence in perspective. I get self-indulgent when stressed. A part of me takes over and tells me that I deserve whatever it is I think I deserve. Then I treat. This weekend I did that, and it was kind of the climax of the past few weeks. Sunday was an emotionally intensive day. Doesn’t help that I’m feeling quite down because of being ill with yellow fever (the vaccination, not the real thing!).
So – all of that came together, and I realized that there’s a part of me that no longer fits… the partier. The drinker. That’s not me any more. I don’t want to do it. I want to be healthy and good.
So – I made a pact with myself. I’m not going to buy any more wine until I delete my current supply (which is quite large – a good 30-40 bottles LOL). And when I’m drinking, I’m not going to drink to get drunk. I’m going to have a max of two glasses (ie. 6-8oz at max). I’ll get to that merry state, and then maintain. I don’t want to feel bad the next day, because that’s happening more and more often now. Every time I’ve been bad going out, the following day has been painful. I can no longer manage alcohol. Which is kinda scary, but also a good thing – I think my body’s cleaner than it’s ever been, and the wine is such a shock nowadays. It can’t cope – so why should I force it too.
This week’s going to be quite intense… physically because of the new routine at the gym, and emotional as I bump back down to basics. I’m looking forward to this week. I need it.
So anyway – this is more of a journal and offloading today… now’s intense. For all good reasons. I just need to remember this. Go deep into it and make the right choices in order to move forward.