Short trip to the gym this morning – just a cardio workout. Not bad at all – still a stretch to get through 30 mins of pretty intense biking. But good.
Last night I have to put my hands up and say I had a Swiss Chalet for dinner – it wasn’t too bad, but wasn’t the best. It was half a chicken (less than that because I avoid all the fat) without skin, a baked potato and then two white rolls. Yeah, I know, white rolls – I consider them a little treat 
They’re so good!
I felt extremely full at the end of it, and I didn’t feel the food was as ‘good’ as I normally have. It’s funny, I could take the rearing of the chicken… whereas I now have fully organic, hormone free, etc… you do taste that in your food. And I guess I’ve become accustomed to it now. It’s good. I like it.
On a separate note, I was thinking last night about my approach to this whole transformation thing. I think it’s a fantasy that I can grow huge, like Ted or like the other bodybuilders I have on this site. Bodybuilding isn’t an obsession for me. It’s not how I choose to define myself. Health and fitness is how I choose to define myself.
If I take a good hard look at my life, I’m reasonably active… like most of my pursuits are active: hiking, trekking, biking, snowboarding, travelling, etc… In those situations, I can’t control my exercise or nutrition as much as you need when you’re a bodybuilder. And when I was on my last trek, sometimes I found the additional weight – or the focus of my training – to be a disadvantage – it was harder to trek. And given that that is such a huge part of me, why should I be doing something that contravenes that?
I’ll go back to the point I made earlier – that the buff body is a fantasy. It’s something I’ve always desired. Perhaps it’s not the body I want for myself – perhaps it’s the body I want in my partner?! Perhaps I’m getting the two mixed up.
As I’ve discussed before, you need to do what’s natural in this – not force the body, not force yourself into something that’s unsustainable, because that’s going to have far reaching impacts with regards to maintenance, etc…
Recently I noted as a reflection in my journal, that I strive for what I call the transcendental best. It’s a funky name for something that basically means I go for something that makes the most sense, that the soul / gut loves intensely and that transcends time: a classic. When I created the reflection, it was meant to apply to furniture, clothing – materialistic items – but I think applies here as well. I’ve got to do the transcendental best for me – what feels the most right?
And I can tell you – the energy, enthusiasm – well, let’s just focus on the energy – that’s huge in comparison to the last phase… I love it. And my self consciousness is disappearing too. I can walk around with reduced love handles – they’re not totally gone yet, but I have confidence in this process I’m on. They will disappear and they are disappearing.
I have to admit – and this is going to sound really vain – but I don’t think I’ve looked more healthy in my whole entire life. I feel so healthy. I feel focussed and motivated. I feel mentally attuned and acute. And that was my goal – to convey health and be fit. To not cover that up with excess muscle and fat because I was too lazy to put in the effort to cut it all out.
Yeah – I think my approach has to change… reflect my circumstances, not what the ‘horny’ brain tells me is my fantasy that it wants to become a reality.